Frustrations

I'm starting to reach a point of frustration.  I'm not really frustrated with the fact that I'm not pregnant yet, as long as it happens within I'd say 2 years or so I think I'll be alright.  

I am very frustrated with my cycles being so unpredictable.  I've only had 2 cycles since going off the pill that have been the same length.  They have been 37, 30, 27, 30, 33, 28, and 34 days.  I also do not ovulate at the same time every month.  This is what's concerning me.  I have an appointment on February 23 for my annual exam, so I'm hoping they can shed some light on this issue and possibly lend me some help.  If anyone else has any opinions or ideas, I'd love to hear them

She reared her ugly head...

Well, no pregnancy this month =(

Still no positive...

But still no period either.  I'm currently at 14 days past ovulation and on the 35th day of my cycle (the longest I've had since my first cycle off the pill which was 37 days).  I took a test yesterday and one this morning, but still no positive.  If I get to Monday with still no period and no positive test, I'm going to go in for a blood test.  Keep crossing your fingers for me!

Testing Tomorrow

I'm going to take a test tomorrow if my period doesn't show up between now and the morning.  I've been feeling crampy the past couple days, so I'm not feeling very optimistic at this point.  But James is leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks in DC, so I was hoping that if I did get a positive he would at least be there for it.  If I remember, I'll post an update in the morning.

Implantation dip?

I think I may have experienced an implantation dip on cycle day 14.  I'm not totally sure as I've obviously never had one before, but that's sure what it looks like and the timing fits.  I took a test today because I was feeling impatient, but it was negative.  Not surprising since even if I was pregnant, it probably wouldn't show up yet.  Most of the other charts on Fertility Friend that had implantation dips didn't tested negative until 3 or 4 days after noting the dip on the chart.  So I'm thinking I'll test again on Monday or Tuesday even though I was going to wait until next Saturday.

My chart

Negative test 2 & 3 days after implantation dip, positive test 4 days after.

Negative test on day of implantation dip, positive test 3 days after.

Negative test 1, 2, & 3 days after implantation dip, positive test 4 days after.

Negative test on day of implantation dip, positive test 3 days after.

I hate the wait.

I really must be the most impatient person on the planet.  This morning when I woke up (7 DPO) I found myself trying to justify taking a pregnancy test early.  Every crazy reason was flying through my head:  Maybe since I've been feeling nauseous lately (but that could be due to anything), maybe since my boobs have been sore (that could be due to my period being 6 days away), maybe since tomorrow is 5 days before my expected period and what's one extra day (maybe I'm ridiculous).  Seriously, this is the inner battle I have with myself every morning during the 2 week wait.  When that day comes that I have to wake up to pee on a stick, I'll be up at 5:30am just to find out.

WTF?

Before I say what I'm about to say, I'd like to preface it with the fact that I am not yet frustrated with the process of getting pregnant.  I know that it takes time and most professionals in the health field agree that it can take, on average, 8-12 months for a woman's cycles to return to normal after being on the pill.  Especially if she was on it for an extended period of time.  We're only on our 5th try, so I'm still in the "it will happen when it happens" mindset.

However.  I am SO shocked at the fact that so many people who are NOT trying to get pregnant and are even trying to prevent pregnancy seem to have the easiest time getting pregnant.  I don't understand why that is.  This thought is prompted by the fact that I was watching the 16 and Pregnant finale and one of the teens that ended up pregnant was fully on birth control.  I'm not saying she used it perfectly, but I'm not using it at all and I'm still not pregnant (well maybe not, we'll know soon) after 7 months of not using any forms of contraceptives and actively trying on the correct days for 5 months.

Just a frustrating thought that I decided to share.